Discover a Passion

Do you have a passion in life ??

Passion - I see passion as something which you love to do at any moment, for countless hours, irrespective of your mood, tiredness, sickness or any worst you can think of, this very activity takes you far away from your mundane life and brings you back to yourself, to your Life !

I badly feel I need to find one thing, just one thing, which I can say is my passion. This one thing which I can do at any hour of the day, which helps me to go away from the real world, my problems, just for sometime.

I thought as a kid I had few things which I loved doing, like watching TV, listening to music, singing or playing with kids at neighborhood, I loved doing this, as soon as I get a chance, or might even have lied to parents to do these things. But I am not sure if I can call them my passions. As if they were my passion, how can i not enjoy the same activities now.

Then I went to College, made new friends, met few strangers, And I loved it, Can that be a passion ? It might be as it still fulfills my criteria of that I can do it anytime, I still love it, but there was a subjectivity, I only liked a certain kind of people and enjoy their company. There are times I am uncomfortable with meeting these new people whom I cannot relate to. It seems to me like this can be a passion but *Conditions Apply, So I can't consider this as my passion too.

Later, when I was finishing my college, It was different, and I felt traveling is something I love the most, had been around lot of places sometime with friends, or colleagues, But 'NO' there were instances where I was traveling, but was not happy, felt something is missing, it isn't fun anymore, unless you have nice journey, right company, comfortable arrangements. So that;s not my passion either.

Then I got this guy, the Love of my life, I thought loving him is passion for me, It is till certain extent even now, But passion needs to be something which you can do on your own, others responses or actions should not effect your decision of performing your part, and with a human, and feelings, emotions in a relationship its different, it cannot be something which can only give happiness, there are lot of dependencies. So not this one too.

I had to start living on my own again.. and Its almost 2 years, when I have all the time in world for myself, to think about me, to do what I really want to do, But I feel I still have not been able to figure out, what is that, which I CAN DO to make myself happy, and look forward to do it again and again. Now I am a very regular visitor of of e-social groups (orkut, facebook), rather so regular, I can say I am addicted to them, coz that seems to be a great way to meet people whom you aren't able to meet or see often. And I love it, But... its the people and their responses which makes me happy or not, so dependencies again to a third party.

While I was asking myself, what is that one thing that cheer you up, even when you are not happy, and I feel, its I am being photographed or shot. Yes, Indeed, thats something I enjoy the most, As I feel I have the whole of attention on me while I am being captured in a camera. And even travel makes me happy only when I have the right level of attention in a group, or whole attention if I am with one person, and till certain exten that goes to the people I meet.

Here, I was searching for my passion, But I feel I have discovered the key hindrance, what dilutes or concentrate my passion or any activity I can enjoy.

I am not sure how can I get over this hindrance and find something which can give me an enriching and refreshing experience in life. Something, which I called Passion.

The Passion for Life, is what I am looking for !